Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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