Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
This is classic penis vs brain.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
