Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
