Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
