So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
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i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
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I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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