I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
