Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
