Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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