How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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