All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
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You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
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You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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