i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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