Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
