dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
