with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
