Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize