took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
How many fucks given?
0.12846
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
