I hope mine doesn't look like that
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
