just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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