Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
