Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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