Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
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