Apparently you make a good broom.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
