When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
