The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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