sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
