home. puking in laundry basket.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
