While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Randomize