Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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