hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
