There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize