Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
