In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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