She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
