try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
