at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
