he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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