Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
