she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
