I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
