If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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