.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
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he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
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What happened to fro yo and sex?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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