You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
