Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
we're making bets on your personal life
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
