I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
