are you so shy because you have an std?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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