i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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