I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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