I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize
