she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
