Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
