I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
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my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
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Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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