Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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