What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
