You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
