When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
