Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
