yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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