This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
