whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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