we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
