I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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