you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Randomize
