I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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